I've never given a proper review to my most favoritest (it's a word, look it up, okay, maybe it's not, fuck off) movie of all time. Ghostbusters. Today, that changes.
Sure, I've wrote about it plenty of times, but never a full on review. I hope I can do it justice. I doubt it, but I hope.
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The movie starts with Alice, the librarian, putting away some books at the main branch of the New York Public Library. She makes her way to the basement (Fact: The main room of the library was in New York, and the basement was in Los Angeles)
As she starts shelving books, she turns to walk around the corner, but it's too oblivious to see that there are fucking books floating around behind her.
Still, she goes on.
She starts to hear some noise, and turns around to see index cards (you know, that shit we looked up books with before we had computers?) flying out of their drawers. She screams and runs. Suddenly she comes to a stop, and screams one more time as a bright pink glow reflects off of her face.
The theme song starts playing and the logo comes on the screen.
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Next we see Columbia University. We are taken into an office where Dr. Peter Venkman is doing some tests (studying the effect of negative re enforcement on ESP ability) on a couple of broke ass college kids, one male, on female.
He is holding up cards, and trying to make them guess what design is on the other side. The mail guesses wrong, and gets shocked. The female guesses wrong and he tells her she is right. Horny Venkman.
After a few rounds of this, the dude gets pissed and leaves. Venkman tells the female that the guy was just jealous of her abilities.
Enter Ray Stantz.
Ray runs in all excited looking for a blank video tape for his camera. He says that there was a ghost sighting at the library, and that Egon Spengler (their partner) is down there (he took PKE valances, went right off the top of the scale, buried the needle!).
Venkman tells Ray to go check it out, but Ray tells Venkman he is going with. Venkman looks pissed, as he is still trying to nail a college student. Peter tells her to come back tonight, as he'd like to "work" with her some more.
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Ray and Peter head into the library. Venkman doubts Ray about the fact that anything really exists (of course you forget, he was present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration.)
They find Egon as a librarian (presumably the director or whatever the hell you would call somebody who is in charge of a library) greets them. The librarian directs them to Alice.
Alice speaks about how the ghost tried to attack her. Venkman has some interesting questions for her (Are you, Alice, menstruating right now?)
Egon runs in and tells Ray that the ghost is on the move.
They had back to L.A., oh, I mean "downstairs" and begin the chase.
Egon is using his PKE meter to try and pick up on the ghost's trail. Ray follows closely with a video camera. Peter lags behind.
Ray gets excited (as he's known to do) about something. It's ecto-plasmic residue! Egon wants Peter to get a sample of it. Peter ends of getting it on his hand, and wipes it off on some index cards (classic Bill Murray improv)
After seeing a symmetrical book stacking, and having a falling book case nearly kill them, the see it. A full torso, free floating, vaporous apparition aka a ghost.
Now what do they do? They decide Venkman needs to go speak to it. Peter approaches and starts talking to it, but the ghost just shhhh's him. Bitch.
Ray decides he has an idea. They slowly approach, and Ray screams, "Get her!" as the ghost turns into a hideous monster. The 3 of them run out of the library screaming.
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As they have calmed and begin to walk on the grounds of the university, Peter is making fun of Ray, who just simply got over excited. Egon catches up and tells them that with the data he acquired, there is a good chance that they could actually capture, and store a ghost. Ray is of course, you guessed it, excited.
They walk into their lab where they see Dean Yeager and some dudes hauling their shit out. Venkman asks if they are being moved to better quarters on campus. Nope. The board has decided to terminate their grant, and they are to vacate the premises immediately. (Fun fact: there is a deleted scene here where Stantz and Spengler nearly beat the shit out of Venkman because he lied and told them that he "floored them at the last regents meeting")
Stantz and Venkman sit on the steps of the university, now jobless. Ray is worried, but Venkman, who is drinking, tells Ray that he believes they were destined to get thrown out and go into business for themselves. Ray wants to know where they are going to get the money for that.
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We see Ray, Egon, and Peter walking out of a bank. Venkman is happy, Ray is worried. Venkman assures him that he won't lose the house that his parents left him (everybody has 3 mortgages now-a-days) The interest rate alone for the first 5 years comes to 95 thousand dollars. Jeez!
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The crew is checking out an abandoned fire station to use for their headquarters. Spengler thinks the building should be condemned (the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone)
Ray is excited about the fire pole saying, "Wow, this place is great! When can we move in? You gotta try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff." He then looks back and says "Hey! We should stay here, tonight. Sleep here, you know, try it out." They'll take it.
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We see Dana Barrett for the first time in the film getting out of a taxi cab with her cello and a bag of groceries.
As she gets off of the elevator, Louis Tully rushes out of his apartment to greet her. Creeper.
He tells her that he is having a party for his clients (he is an accountant) and even though she does her own tax returns, which she shouldn't do, he'd like her to stop by anyway. She tells him maybe. He's still not done bugging her. He tells her that she shouldn't leave her TV on so loud, the creep down the hall phoned the manager. She didn't realize she left it on. That's ok, he turned up his TV real loud too. Dana slams the door in his face.
As she takes her coat off, she sees a commercial for Ghostbusters. Incredibly cheesy to say the least, yet memorable. The commercial ends with the three of them saying, "We're ready to believe you!" Dana switches off her TV and goes to put away the groceries.
Dana sets a carton of eggs on the counter (notice the bag of Stay Puft Marshmallows next to it?), and little does she know, this is where her troubles begin. As Dana turns to go to the other side of the kitchen the eggs start to pop out, and cook on the counter. Dana is horrified, but then she notices noises and glowing coming from the refrigerator. She opens it, and a dog like creature screams "Zuul" and she closes it and shrieks.
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Back at the Ghostbusters Headquarters, we see some workers hanging up a simple banner that only says "Ghostbusters" on it. Ray pulls up in an old black hearse. He starts naming off the list of about 50 things that are wrong with it, but he got it for a steal, only 48 hundred.
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We see Venkman walking into the main offices, where he asks Janine, their Secretary, if they had any calls or anything. She says no. Venkman walks off to his office.
Egon comes out from under Janine's desk. Apparently he was hooking up the computer, but that's not what it looks like! Perv.
Janine tries to tell an uninterested Egon about herself. She asks if he has any hobbies. He collects spores, molds, and fungus. Go Egon.
We see Dana walk into the office, and an excited (and horny) Venkman rushes out to greet her. She tells him that she has an unusual story. He tells her to step into his office.
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Dana is upstairs, with Egon running some tests on her. She's telling the truth. The guys run down what they can possibly do to help. Venkman, ever the opportunist, suggests that he will take Dana to her apartment and check it out.
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At Dana's place, Peter burts in the door, saying that if something happens here, he wants it to happen to him first. After a few pick up lines, Dana tells him he doesn't act like a scientist, he is more like a game show host.
They make their way into the kitchenVenkman sees the eggs on the counter. Dana suggests he looks at the refrigerator. He slowly opens it, and is petrified. There is lots of junkfood!
Dana is pissed by this point. Venkman the wrongly decides to hit on her, but she throws him out.
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The crew is having dinner at the firehouse, toasting to their first customer. Venkman suggests that he takes her out to dinner using petty cash. Ray says that the food they are eating represents the last of the petty cash.
Meanwhile, Janine answers the phone. During the conversation she gets more and more excited. "We got one!!!" She screams.
The team rushes downstairs, putting on their coveralls, and heads out the door in Ecto-1
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Ecto-1 pulls up to the Sedgewick Hotel.
The team walks in, and Venkman hollers, "Hey! Anyone see a ghost?"
The manager greets them, a little shaken up at what is going on. He doesn't want the guests to know about the ghost. He wants it taken care of, tonight!
They make their way to the elevator, and get a dirty look from a gentleman who asks if they are cosmonauts. Venkman tells them they are exterminators.
As they ride in the elevator, Ray is worried because they haven't had a successful test of the equipment. No time to worry now though.
They step off and Ray and Egon turn on their particle throwers. A maid wheels a cart behind them, as they turn around and fire at her. They apologize. Successful test. Ray decides they should all split up. Venkman agrees. They can do more damage that way.
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Ray tries to holler for Venkman, but no reply. Ray decides to try and hold it himself. He fires at the ghost but it gets away, and vanishes right through a wall.
We see Venkman slowly walking the halls of the hotel. Venkman comes upon the ghost. Venkman radios ray with his walkie talkie. Ray tells him it won't hurt him, but just as that is said, the ghost charges toward Venkman.
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As the team heads into the ball room, they assure the manager that they have everything under control.
Ray uses his Ecto-Goggles to scan for the ghost. He sees it on the ceiling.
They move into position and fire. The chandelier then falls and crashes through a table.
Egon says that he forgot to tell them something very important. Don't cross the streams. It could be bad. Oh, you're fuzzy on the whole good / bad thing? Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Total protonic reversal. Important safety tip, that's bad. Thanks, Egon.
Venkman devises a plan as the ghost is drinking at the bar. Egon will shoot from the left, and Ray from the right, with Venkman doing his usual nothing.
Ray fires and misses. Egon fires, and makes a cake explode.
The ghost is aimlessly floating around the ceiling. Ray decides to deploy the trap, but he'll need some room. They start to clear tables out of the way. All the while, the manager is outside ensuring that the room will be ready for the people that reserved it.
Venkman tells them to wait, as he tries to pull a table cloth out while leaving everything on the table. The flowers are still standing!
Ray deploys the trap. Venkman catches the ghost in his proton stream. Spengler follows. Ray opens the trap, which you can't look directly in to, and the ghost is gone.
They gather by the trap, and Egon says, "it's in there" Ray is excited again.
Venkman kicks the door down proclaiming, "We came, we saw, we kicked it's ass" He then proceeds to charge the hotel $5,000.
Next we see the video montage, but instead of writing about a bunch on 3 second clips, I'll just post it here.
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Back at headquarters, Egon, Ray, and Winston gather near the containment unit. Ray show Winston how to unload a trap.
The light is green, the trap is clean.
Janine tells Peter that there is a man from the EPA here to see him, and that he is waiting in his office. She them complains that she has worked for over 2 weeks without a break, and they promised that they would hire more help. Venkman tells her that someone with her qualifications should have no trouble finding a top flight job in either the food service or house keeping industries.
Janine is pissed. As the phone rings, she answers it with, "Ghostbusters, whadda ya want?"
Venkman greets Walter Peck, the EPA guy. Peck starts rudely drilling him with questions about the business. He wants to see the storage facility. Venkman won't let him, not even when he uses the magic word, "please."
Peck gets pissed and threatens to get a court order. Venkman says, "You go get a court order, and I'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution."
Back in the basement, Egon is worried that the storage facility is getting too crowded. He likens it to an oversized Twinkie.
Venkman comes in and tells them they just had a visit from the EPA. He asks how the grid is holding up. Winston says, "Tell 'em about the Twinkie." Venkman, looking very worried replies, "What about the Twinkie?"
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A storm brews over Dana's apartment building.
She walks through the hall, only to be greeted by Louis. Louis reminds her that he is having a party, which is already in progress.
She apologizes and forgot that she had made a date. Louis tells her she can bring him along.
Dana goes to sit down for a moment, and the phone rings. It's her mom. Dana is awful bitchy with her, and rushes her off the phone. As she sits in silence she shes something trying to get in her door. Suddenly arms pop up from the chair, and she is whisked away.
We see that a statue on the top of the building is now crumbled, and that another is falling apart, and a glowing red eye is shown.
At Louis' party, everyone seems bored. He starts dancing with a hot girl (who is actually Casey Casem's wife) and the door bell rings.
He greets his guests, and throws their coats on his bed.
As he turns around, he hears a growling noise, and asks who brought a dog.
A Terror Dog busts through the door causing panic. Louis runs into the hallway to grab the elevator. We then see Louis running out of the building screaming, and hopping a fence. The Terror Dog is close behind.
Louis comes to a restaurant that he can't seem to get into. He is pounding on the glass, and being ignored. Damn New Yorker's.
The dog creeps up behind him and growls.
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Venkman shows up to Dana's apartment building. He sees that clearly something went on, but is more concerned about getting laid.
He knocks on the door, and she answers and asks "Are you the keymaster?"
He says no and she slams the door shut.
He knocks again, same question, and he answers yes. He makes his way inside, and sees a mess.
She tells him her name is Zuul, and he asks what they will be doing tonight. She says they are preparing for the coming of Gozer, the destructor.
She drags him to the bed, and tries to mate with him. He forces her off of him, clearly seeing that she is possessed.
He asks her to lay down, and tells her he wants to talk to Dana. She says, "There is no Dana, only Zuul."
She begins to float in mid-air. He asks her to come down, and she barks at him.
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Louis, now calling himself the Vinz Clortho, the Keymaster, runs through the park, knocking shit over. He sees a horse, and asks it if it's the Gatekeeper. The driver asks if he wants a ride, and Vinz's eyes glow red, and he runs off telling them that they will al perish in flames.
A police officer knocks on the Ghostbuster's door. Janine answers and asks, "Dropping off, or picking up?" They are dropping off. Janine gets Egon, and brings him outside.
The officer shows Vinz to Egon, and Egon suggests that he'd better take him.
We see Egon analyzing Vinz with that super awesome collander helmet.
Janine offers him some coffer. Egon tells Vinz, yes have some, to which Vinz replies, "Yes......have some!"
Vinz explains to Egon a bunch on rambling nonsense about Gozer. Many shubs and zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depth's of the sloar that day I can tell you.
Janine tells Egon that she is very worried that something terrible is going to happen, and she is afraid Egon might die.
The phone rings. It's Peter. He tells Egon about the situation over at Dana's. He's put her to sleep for now.
Egon tells Venkman to get back right away.
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We see Ray and Winston driving Ecto-1 across a bridge.
Winston asks Ray if he believes in God. Ray says he's never met him. Ray remembers something in the Bible about the last day, and people rising from the grave.
Winston makes the point to Ray that maybe the reason they've been so busy lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave.
Ray looks a little petrified, and turns on the radio.
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Back at headquarters, Walter Peck arrives with a court order to shut the place down. Janine tries to stop him, but it's no use.
Peck, a cop, and an electrician storm down to the basement. Egon warns them that if they shut it off, it could be like dropping a bomb on the city.
Venkman arrives in a cab just in time to head downstairs.
Venkman tries to stop Peck as well. Peck persists. Venkman says they won't be held responsible for what happens.
The electrician doesn't feel good about shutting the grid off, but Peck makes him do it. As he is about to turn off the power, Egon, Peter, and Janine make their way slowly up the stairs. Everybody runs out of the building as the alarm sounds. Louis almost doesn't make it out.
The roof explodes, releasing every ghost they have caught thus far.
People fill the streets to see what is happening. (Fun Fact, Ron Jeremy was an extra in this scene)
Ray and Winston pull up and want to know what's going on.
Peck demands that the officer arrest the Ghostbusters.
Egon shouts, "Your mother" at Peck and attacks him.
We see all the damage done from shutting down the power. Slimer appears in a hot dog vendor's cart. A skeleton is driving a cab.
Shit just got crazy.
Meanwhile Louis makes his way to Dana's apartment building. The Keymaster must find the Gatekeeper. Dana wakes and sees what is going on. Then the wall of her building explodes.
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The Ghostbusters are now in jail. Winston wants to make a phone call.
Egon, Ray and Peter go over the blue prints to Dana's apartment.
Ray says that either the architect was a certified genius, or an authentic whacko.
Ray says the building was designed expressly for pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Venkman's girlfriend live in the corner penthouse of spook central.
Egon says the building was designed by Evo Shandor. He was a doctor who performed unnecessary surgeries. In 1920 he started a secret society of Gozer worshipers. The conducted rituals on the roof intended to bring about the end of the world, and now it looks like it will happen.
Winston says he needs to get his own lawyer.
The guard, who we all know as Carl Winslow from Family Matters says the Mayor wants to see them.
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Vinz steps into Zuul's apartment. They introduce themselves. How cute. The make out, and head toward the roof.
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The Ghostbusters arrive at the Mayor's office. Peck is there too accusing them of being frauds. Ray says everything was fine until there power was shut off by ""dickless"
Peck says they caused an explosion. The Mayor asks if it's true. Venkman says "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick."
They go at it but get pulled apart.
A Priest, who they only refer to as "Mike" walks in. He says that he thinks all of this is a sign from God.
Winston walks up to the Mayor's desk and introduces himself. He says "I've only been with the company for a couple weeks, but I gotta tell ya, these things are REAL. Since I joined these men, I have seen shit that'll turn you white!"
Venkman then states the the city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Human sacrafice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!
The Mayor gets the point. But what if they're wrong? Venkman says "If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We'll go to jail, peacfully, quietly, we'll enjoy it. But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing, Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters."
The Mayor likes that. He agrees and has security toss out Peck. Lenny asks what they need from him.
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A whole army of soldiers, guards, and cops leads the Ecto-1 down the street to Dana's building.
The team pulls up to much fanfare but things go sour quick.
The ground starts to shake, and split, and the Ghostbusters fall in.
After the dust clears, they come out unharmed, and are ready to rush into battle.
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Inside they climb the stairs, already tired.
On the roof, it looks like Vinz and Zuul just bumped uglies (fun fact: at the end of the film, there is a deleted scene where Louis asks Dana if they did it. She says "no")
The team makes their way to Dana's apartment, and sees a set of stairs. They go "up."
They arrive on the roof just in time to see Dana and Louis transformed into Terror Dogs prompting Venkman to say "ok, so, she's a dog."
The Terror Dogs take their place at a doorway / altar looking spot. A woman comes forth. It's Gozer. Winston thought Gozer was a man, but Egon says it's whatever it wants to be. (Fun Fact: The role of Gozer was initially intended to Paul Reubens)
Ray goes forth and demands Gozer return to where she came from. Gozer asks Ray if he's a God. He says "no." Gozer rears back, and says, "Then, DIE!!!" as she shoots lightning bolts from her finger tips, nearly sending the Ghostbusters off the edge of the building.
Winston yells at Ray and says "When someone asks you if you're a god, you say, YES!"
The Ghostbusters grab their particle throwers and aim for Gozer, but she jumps out of the way and on to an altar behind them.
The fire again, and she dissolves. A complete partical reversal. Everybody is excited except for Egon.
The ground starts to shake, and Gozer's voice sounds. She tells them to choose the form of their destructor. Whatever they think of will appear and destroy them. Venkman tells them to empty their heads.
Gozer says the choice is made and the traveler has come. Venkman protests saying that nobody chose anything. Ray couldn't help it. A thought just popped in there.
A loud stomping sound can be heard. It's the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Ray tried to think of something harmless.
Stay Puft approaches and steps on a church as he nears the Ghostbusters. Venkman is pissed. The fire at him, but it does little good and he sends them running for shelter.
Egon says there may be one way to stop him. They'll have to cross the streams. There is a very slim chance that they can survive.
The group assembles and aims their throwers at the door where Gozer first appeared.
They says their potential goodbyes and fire. There is a huge explosion that dematerializes Stay Puft, as marshmallow matter coats the ground, and people below.
The guys regroup, all still alive and marshmallow covered, except for Venkman, who has minimal cover on him.
Venkman is upset that Dana is no more. He turns to leave, but she starts to break through the fried shell of what was once a Terror Dog. Louis does too.
Egon and Ray tell Louis they'd like to run some tests on him.
Winston, happier than ever, shouts "I LOVE THIS TOWN!"
